June 11, 2014

to those with & without children

we don’t have children, but we want them. 
our story as of yet isn’t of infertility, years of trying, or miscarriages. my heart aches for those who are enduring this season; i cannot even begin to imagine this reality. 
my story is of mismanagement of personal debt & my husband’s selfless love to take on this story as his own, too. our story is of marrying early & growing up together. our story is in the waiting.
you see, for a couple of years now, i have quietly held onto the hope that soon we would be ready for a house full of babies. 
throughout these years, we’ve watched our closest friends fill their homes with new life & celebrated in their joys. throughout these years, we’ve listened to breastfeeding/home birth/hospital birth/homeschooling/unschooling/public schooling/private schooling conversations with nothing to add. throughout these years, we’ve learned from our dearest friends & gathered tools for our parenting toolbox.
throughout these years, we’ve paid off our debt a little at a time, slow & steady. throughout these years, we’ve been given a home & farm on which to grow & deeply love. throughout these years, we’ve waited. & we’re still waiting. 

you see, if i had a quarter for every person who has asked when we plan on having a family – as if we don’t ask ourselves that question every. single. day. & as if we don’t already have our own little family – i would be rich & then pay off my debt & have that baby. 
through the years of waiting, i have finally realized that we are, in fact, not broken & we are allowed to embrace this season.

my intention for sharing our story is that maybe you too are waiting for children (or maybe you do not want them at all) yet you feel broken or as if you’re missing out because you don’t have a house full.

friends, we are not missing out on life. in fact, we’re filling our house with memories & meaningful relationships. we’re growing in our love together & we’re growing as individuals with rich experiences & interests.

our story is not in the waiting. it’s much more than that.

to those without children – 

our story is of meals shared together without high chairs.
our story is of uninterrupted sleep at night.
our story is of date nights on a whim.
our story is of completed projects in one sitting.
our story is of glass cups & real plates.
our story is of only two loads of laundry.
our story is of wiping only our own butts, noses & mouths.

our story is of hosting baby showers for expectant parents.
our story is of signing up for kids church & nursery.
our story is of holding our friends’ babies when they need a break.
our story is of babysitting so others can enjoy a date night.
our story is of loving our friends’ littles as our own.

to those with children –

allow us into your story.
trust us with your littles.
let us read books to your children & hold your new babies.
invite us over to your mommy play dates. we need play dates, too.
drink coffee with us & join us for a girls’ weekend every once in awhile.
don’t apologize for your dirty house. we have dirty houses, too.

to those with & without children –

let us learn from each other & not divide.
let us not put each other down for having too much or not enough free time.
let us punch jealousy square in the face when it prevents us from savoring what we already have.
let us invite each other into our own struggles so we may find commonality & friendship.
let us listen more & speak less.

let us celebrate, embrace & cherish this season. we have things worth saying, feelings worth feeling, & thoughts worth sharing with or without babies.
love,
natalie