my tribe.
do you have a tribe of women in your life?
i believe there are seasons in our lives when we can feel friendless & lonely. when luke & i first moved to arkansas, i felt so alone & disconnected from our amazing community in missouri. in missouri, i was just a bike ride away from a coffee date with a girlfriend or dinner with our favorite couples.
our life looks very different now. we live miles away from town, our schedules aren’t as flexible as they used to be & it feels like we are busier than ever. i still crave that deep connectedness, though– that kind of connectedness with friends that a husband or partner simply can’t fill.
after nearly three years, i am finally able to say that i have found my tribe. we work out together, we share coffee together, we cry together, we encourage together & we eat together.
i recently participated in a group at church that was centered around meal planning, budgeting & the enjoyment of food in community. week after week, a small group of us women shared one of the most intimate parts of our lives- our food story. we exchanged recipes & our food practices. we re-organized our fridges & worked on breaking some unhealthy habits. we planned meals & leaned on each other for financial accountability. at the end of our group, we shared a meal, good conversation & friendship. we are all so different, from our personalities to our seasons in life, yet we come together with a love for food.
i’ve also started scheduling weekly coffee dates with my tribe. these women are amazing. i am so thankful that i get to share a cup of coffee with them for an hour each week. we talk about the big life stuff & the small beautiful stuff. this has been a big life-changer for me.
of course, these kind of relationships, like all relationships, take work. it requires a bit of time & effort, but it’s absolutely worth it. living life with women who get you & you get them is like a breath of fresh air. i am so thankful to have this tribe of connectedness.
if you’re struggling to find or create your tribe, here are some suggestions:
+ invite a handful of women to coffee // this is an inexpensive way to get out of the house & around a table with women.
+ don’t search for the perfect women to be your friends // i know this suggestion might sound crazy, but i have found myself only wanting to be friends with girls who had the same convictions or preferences as i do. life is about learning from others & what better person to learn from than a friend who is different but near & dear to you?
+ difference is good // a lot of my girlfriends have children. i am the youngest in my tribe of girlfriends who are in their late 20s to early 40s. i have learned so much from these seasoned women & their wisdom has been invaluable to my life.
+ plan a potluck // this is a great way to have a delicious meal & not put too much pressure on the hostess. invite a group of women to your house, share in the responsibility of the meal & open a bottle of wine. good conversation will happen, i promise.
+ experience a shared interest together // join a book club or yoga class together. go for weekly walks or bake together. find shared interests with women & set aside time to do them regularly. this will create a connectedness that will lead to deeper friendships.
most of all, love & serve people fiercely & it will be returned to you.
love,
natalie
Mechelle L. | 19th Feb 14
this post is right on time. i moved hours away from my family and friends and have been incredibly lonely lately. i need to find/create a new tribe.. thanks for confirming this. much love
Lori Arnold McFarlane | 19th Feb 14
You are so very wise! I'm in the same boat you were in, moved away from an awesome community to a more rural place far away. Making friends IS hard. I love your suggestions.
Holly | 19th Feb 14
It was so fun sharing our secrets and talking about BIG stuff!
Unknown | 19th Feb 14
I left my "tribe" back in Atlanta and I've been trying to find one here in Arkansas. It's been really hard for me, but I think when TK and I find a church to join it will be easier. Thanks for the encouraging words.
Anonymous | 19th Feb 14
"I recently participated in a group at church that was centered around meal planning, budgeting & the enjoyment of food in community"
Did you use a curriculum for this? Book? Would love to hear more about the group.
Thanks!
Deanna
Kait Mauro | 20th Feb 14
This was a beautiful post to read, thank you for this.
elizabeth | 20th Feb 14
Beautiful touching post, I need to do more to find my own tribe
I would love to hear more about the group that discussed meal planning, budgeting and food in community
Susan | 20th Feb 14
Yes, I love the women in my life! Love your ideas and need to make this more of a priority. So glad I stumbled upon your IG feed. Good stuff here, Girlie!
xox
Susan @SugarBeans.org