the good stuff
i want to pause for a moment & breathe a sigh of relief. ok.
the good stuff is here. things are coming together, pieces are revealing a bigger picture, this house finally feels like a home. my home. for nearly a year, i’ve felt like a different person driving around another’s town, living in someone else’s home, unable to experience my life & really carve out a space to call my own. i finally feel differently & it feels so good. of course, i wouldn’t choose this place, but it finally feels like my place, my town, my home, my life! i need to add more explanation points !!!! because this is big for me. after all of the complaints, the excuses, the sobs, the time, the effort, the strength, & the growth- i am content.
& incredibly thankful. a few weeks ago, i received a job opportunity with the girl scouts. a full-time position, a salary, benefits. i was shocked, really. throughout the process of looking for a job as a fresh college graduate & feeling like a failure because my husband was paying my college debt, i convinced myself that maybe a full-time position wasn’t what i needed because it just wasn’t working out. i was finding joy in the garden, our home, & my part-time position at the health foods store. still, i felt like those four years of learning & the knowledge i gained needed to be exercised & used. also, i wanted to take responsibility for my debt. after receiving the call that the job was essentially mine, i finally felt that relief that i am talking about.
i am a bit hesitant about entering the full-time workforce, though. striking that balance between work, my marriage, our home, the garden, our sweet animals, & my creative pursuits will be a challenge. clocking in for a 40-hour work week & making dinner is daunting. i want to continue gardening, making photos & homesteading in our humble neighborhood. even though it will be rough at first, i believe that balance can be found in our lives & i am looking forward to the change!
love,
natalie
melissa | 6th Apr 12
congrats. i enjoy your blog from texas!
Julia | 6th Apr 12
congrats natalie! finding that balance is hard, and takes serious work and dedication, but i know you can do it. you and luke are so supportive of each others' endeavors, i know you'll find a way to make it all work together. xo
Jess | 12th Apr 12
SO excited for you, dear Natalie. glad you are beginning to feel some contentment, and extremely glad about the job. I hope you and Luke had a nice time celebrating your birthday. I, for one, sure am glad you were born!!!
Unknown | 14th Apr 12
the balance can be found. 🙂 congrats on all the good stuff happening for you!
Kee | 16th Apr 12
where did you find those metal planters???? I love the look of them…
Modern Crush | 17th Apr 12
I am so excited for you natalie! I know just how you feel, and if i'm being honest you worded things about how I'm feeling in a way that I havent been able to. I work 2 jobs and live with our inlaws in a house that I have no connection to, in a town that I dont really like, surrounded by stuff that isn't mine. I know its not forever but still. Thanks for your honesty here, I love that you shared this because it really brightened my day. I havent been reading your blog for long, but you can consider me a loyal reader!
xo,
Georgia
Amy | 19th Apr 12
congratulations on your new job. i wonder if they would let a 39 year old sign up for girl scouts in your area? i was a brownie once! you will excel at whatever you choose to do. finding balance is not easy but if you are doing what you love and are happy. it will come.