we celebrated two sweet years of marriage. we had a small celebration this past weekend with luke’s family. his younger siblings made a meal, set the table for two & served us the most delicious dinner & dessert. it was the sweetest time. on monday, luke brought home a bouquet of sunflowers & a handful of chicken feathers from the farm. we made a meal together at home & then went out for frozen yogurt.
with another year down & many more to come, it allows for some time of reflection. i’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability & how that plays into one’s life. to be honest, i have a hard time being vulnerable in this space. but to be really honest, my life isn’t full of rainbows & sprinkles as it might sometimes appear in this space. luke & i are dealing with some really hard life stuff right now.
not even a week after we moved here, we bought a used truck with most of our savings. after being informed that the truck has much more damage than we previously believed, is unsafe to drive & isn’t worth more than about $400 at the salvage yard, we had a pretty big breakdown. because this town does not allow for alternative commuting with its uneducated drivers & limited sidewalks, we were forced to borrow a car from luke’s family until we figured everything out. well, we still haven’t figured it out. i start a new job next week & need to return their car the following week. being the poorest we have ever been & in a new community without that support we are so used to, we feel on edge with very little options.
throughout all of this struggle, though, we are growing closer. celebrating two years among all of this junk makes life a little more manageable & sweeter. i am learning, slowly, that it is all about perspective & the choice to focus on the positive rather than the negative. i now savor the moments at dinnertime instead of using the evening to check off my to do list. when i used to catch up on email & blogs throughout the weekend, i disconnect from my laptop & instead connect with my husband. these intentional choices are allowing us to grow together, learn together & create together. each day i am incredibly thankful to be with him, my sweet farmer, lover & friend. even if it feels like hell sometimes.
natalie